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The one trait your child needs to succeed (and no, it’s not talent)

Photo by Clark Young on Unsplash

Angela Duckworth’s fascination with high achievers began in childhood. Her father, a Chinese immigrant, often read out the names of Nobel Prize winners and engaged the family in discussions about who the greatest artists and scientists were. Later, as a young teacher, she observed that her most successful students weren’t necessarily the brightest but were those who persisted even when faced with challenges. These early experiences sparked a question that would shape her academic career: What truly drives people to achieve their goals? It was clear that talent alone wasn’t the answer. This curiosity led Duckworth to conduct groundbreaking research on grit—the sustained effort and passion toward long-term goals—shedding light on a trait that is crucial for success but often overlooked.


Research into grit, popularized by Angela Duckworth in her 2007 study “Grit: Perseverance and Passion for Long-Term Goals,” has shown that the ability to maintain effort and interest over time is crucial for success, often more so than talent or IQ. Studies across diverse groups—from West Point cadets to Spelling Bee contestants—reveal that gritty individuals are more likely to achieve their goals because they persist through challenges, setbacks, and slow progress. This research reshaped our understanding of success, highlighting that it’s not just about talent but about the power of sustained effort and perseverance.



Actionable Tips for Parents:


  1. Praise Effort, Not Just Results: Instead of focusing on the outcome (“Great job on the A!”), praise the process (“You worked so hard on that assignment!”). This encourages children to value effort and persistence.


  2. Model Grit in Everyday Life: Kids learn by watching. When you face your own challenges—whether it’s finishing a project at work or sticking to a fitness routine—talk about your struggles and how you’re pushing through.


  3. Encourage Passion Projects: Help your child find something they love and can stick with, whether it’s playing an instrument, coding, or playing a sport. Grit grows when kids pursue things that interest them deeply over time.


  4. Teach the Power of “Yet”: If your child says, “I can’t do this,” add the word “yet.” It’s a small but powerful shift that reinforces the idea that skills develop with effort.


  5. Set and Celebrate Small Goals: Break larger tasks into manageable pieces. Celebrate when those small steps are achieved—it reinforces that progress comes through consistent effort.


  6. Create Opportunities for Delayed Gratification: Whether it’s saving up allowance money for a toy or working toward a fun weekend activity, teach your kids to wait and work for rewards. It builds patience and the understanding that good things often take time.



Grit is a muscle that can be built, and as a parent, you have a powerful role in helping your child develop it. By encouraging perseverance, modeling resilience, and celebrating effort, you’re equipping your child with a skill that will serve them far beyond the classroom. Grit isn’t about never failing; it’s about getting back up, learning from mistakes, and moving forward—traits that are invaluable in a rapidly changing world.

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